Mark Twain witticisms

In an episode of ‘Pawn Stars’, a lady comes in with a piece of paper, carrying one of Mark Twain’s more famous aphorisms-‘We ought never to do wrong when anybody’s looking’, signed by the legend himself. She leaves $8750 richer. Immediately, a hundred Mark Twain quotes jostled for attention in my head. As I kept remembering one after the other, I laughed and reflected on them all as though I was hearing them for the first time. That’s just how timeless they are.


For the uninitiated, Mark Twain is the author of ‘Tom Sawyer’ and ‘Huckleberry Finn‘-two well-known American classics along with a host of other immensely appreciated short stories and novels. But now, enough with the boring history part. What makes Mark Twain such an interesting personality (apart from his writing, of course) are the numerous witty aphorisms that he gave out on an almost daily basis. Apparently, he would scratch all these little sayings whenever he was asked for an autograph. How cool is that? Here’s a selection of Mark Twain sayings I absolutely love!

In no particular order-

1. ‘Those who do not read the news are uninformed.

Those that do are misinformed.’

2. ‘It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog.’

3. ‘I never let my schooling interfere with my education.’

4. ‘Never argue with stupid people, they drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.’


5. This one-

‘Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of the Congress. But then, I repeat myself.’


6. ‘Religion was invented when the first con man met the first fool.’

7. ‘If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.’

8. ‘Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.’

9. A classic to end-

‘All generalizations are false, including this one.’

These are just a sample of all the amazing Mark Twain quotes out there. I hope I have interested you enough to go looking for the rest. Trust me, you won’t be disappointed!

Have a grand day, folks.




One thought on “Mark Twain witticisms

  1. Pingback: How They Do It (Writing Tips from the Best) | I write, Therefore I am

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